satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

(via ohdarlinnbreathe)

highmiranda:

thank god i have my shitty personality to make up for my shitty looks

(via thepinktomato)

parent: why hasn't ____ been round lately? I thought you were friends
me: well they turned into a cunt